dye it blonde

dyed my hair blonde.  i have to go to the salon tomorrow though to get it toned cause theres some orange undertones that i want to get rid of.  i did it from a box so it figures.  its not bad though.

sorry i havent posted in like forever.  ive been sp preoccupied with my life.  anyways.  i went to florida again to visit seth, and pretty much were broken up.  fuck him. asswhipe.  whatever.  ANYWAYS.  i am 109 lbs.  pretty much have been staying the same weight, i was 107 lbs a few days ago but ive been eating too much the last 2 days.  ill start doing better though starting right now, cause i really want to be 105 by this weekend.  its taking all my power not to start smoking again. arghhh.  ahh i want a fucking boyfriend.  wow that wasnt at all desperate sounding.  ha ha ha. alright see yazz.

3 day fast??

is gonna start fasting starting now!! i just NEED to.  gonna do it as long as i can, which will prob be like 12 hours later knowing what a lazy fucktard i am.  seriously though, im aiming for 3 days.  tomorrows friday, so i guess itll be a weekend thing.  fri, sat, and sun.  then after that only salads and low-cal soup and shit like that.  oh ill still drink water while the fast is on.  and maybe coffee if i really i need it. and herbal tea. but thats it.

*needs to lose weight without over thinking it*

thats my problem right there, i over think it and then end up getting stressed-out and start eating wayy to much.  anyways...i just need to stop being a lazy-ass bum and start working out more.  Seriously. Its redic-u-lous. Infact I'm going to go work out right now, so hollazz.

Oh and thankyou Dani for congratulating me on the new job :)

One more note before I go....Seth (my new boy that i talked about in last post) is AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!

Hey Guys! Soo its been a while...mostly cause I've been eating more normally lately.  Im on this new medication and its really working I think.  I dont feel as depressed anymore etc.  I havent gained any weight but I haven't really lost any either.  Im at 110 lbs.  Also I dumped that kid that I was semi-dating, as in he asked me out but I wasnt sure if I wanted to date him so I said I dont know.  But last week i ended whatever kinda relationship we had.  We're just wayyy too different.  And Im not physically attracted to him...so yeah.  But I met someone else, and this kid that i really really like is prertty much perfect for me.  We have alot in common, alot of the same interests, we get along great, and i am so into him, hes really hot.  So yeahh, the only thing is he's my old semi-boyfriends friend.  Oh well.  I actually met him at the club when I got really drunk, and I was hitting on him the whole night.  Ha ha ha.  I swear Im really not a skank, even though it prob seems like it :)  But Im really gonna try to lose some more weight, but a lil more healthily, this way i'll avoid binges which lead to self-hate.  So im thinking i'll keep it around 700 cals a day.  And just staying active and exercising.  I also started a new job today now that I've movewd back home.  Its at a cute local cafe.  My scene haha.  Alright thats all for now.  See yuzz!

btw everythings fine about my stepfather walking in on me, checking out my stomach fat.  hes kind of the person that probably figures that thats what all girls do.

anyways, just got back last night from florida last night.  AND i weighed myself this morning and i weigh 108 lbs!! i mustve lost like atleast 4 lbs while i was down there.  Pretty much all i ate was like 2 salads a day and drink rum shots at night.  Last night tho, i ate a shit load of food so right now all im thinking about is that i would weigh even less if i didnt eat all that food.  It was junk food too.  I got it at the gas station for the ride home from the airport.  So i was having straight rum shots, and while doing them i was wondering how many calories are in rum?? I got so drunk the second night, I had 5 shots, and especially the fact that i wasnt eating alot and im on meds..yeah pretty much i was wasted.  We went to a club, me and my "guy friend" and his friends, and i was so bad, I almost got us kicked out cause Im under 21 and it was obvious that i was drunk.  When we got back to his house that night we had a pretty intense make-out session on my bed, I still have a hickey near my pelvic bone from it. Sorry if thats tmi, but I cant really tell anyone I know about all of this, so I like to get it out on here. Fun times fun times haha.  The second morning I payed for it though, cause i puked twice and felt like complete shit.  Well glad to be back. 

ok embarassing story.  so i was just in my mom and and stepfathers room watching tv with them and they both left.  so i go over to their mirror and pull up my shirt till my stomach is showing and start sucking in and checking out my belly fat and seriously start grabbing the fat that i need to loose etc.  Then my stepfather walks in and sees me.  so i pretty much just pulled my shirt down and walked out of the room with my head down and face red.  hahaha kinda emabarassing, oh well.  So i lost another pound, i am now down to 112, and i did pretty good calorie-wise today so i should lose some more tomorrrow morning when i weigh myself.